Isn't It Right That Adults Are Shocked And Appalled By Kids' Bad Behaviour?

By: Liz Marsden

Although this question may appear rather odd, it does seeem to be worth considering...

It's because no-one appears to be particularly put out at children's bad behaviour - even totally appalling behaviour, some bordering on criminal activity... Years ago such behaviour would have received condemnation from adults and general society.

So what do I see rather than adult shock at children's bad behaviour? It's pathetic really. I see abject acceptance, lethargy and frequent shoulder shrugging in that, 'Well, what can we do about it,' sort of way...

People ask me, 'Why is he behaving in that way when he knows it's not acceptable?' I tell them that they're probably trying to find out if you've got what it takes to do soemthing about it! They're finding out how their world works... and what they can get away with!

Oh, come on, get a grip. Show a bit of backbone, a bit of grit, a bit of substance...

I had a shocking conversation in a school a few months ago. The person concerned is lovely, but like too many adults these days, completely wet. Wet? Yes, wet - nice but soppy, soft, lacking energy. An willingness to accept totally unacceptable behaviour without question.

Like so many people I meet in schools this person is lovely to know and full of good intentions and has no intention of causing any harm...

Sorry folks, your 'best intentions' aren't good enough! Adults (in and out of schools) have to get used to the idea they have to stop accepting unacceptable behaviour and learn to do something about it... You've allowed kids to behave in ways that are damaging to their development. You have to be shocked by kids' bad behaviour...

I don't really want to upset people but the whole concept of dealing with kids' behaviour has to get a good shaking up and adults need to call a halt on their lethargy and lack lustre attitude to their duty of care to kids...

Sorry, I've drifted away from the conversation I had with this 'very nice person'.

The school has a great deal of unacceptable behaviour - disrespect, poor work, violence, etc. And it was getting worse...

The head teacher was asking me what could be done...

I told him that he should be a bit more assertive and show a bit of wrath - using the term rather tongue in cheek!

His response, speaking quite sincerely?

'When should the wrath start?'

I'm not often speechless! This person really hadn't a clue when to show they were very unhappy by children's behaviour. I question whether such a person should be doing the job of a head teacher! Talk about having lost your way...

Some action must be taken to stop this situation getting even worse. Excuses for bad behaviour have got to stop and adults have got to learn to do something to deal with bad behaviour. It can't be allowed to continue where children's bad behaviour is being condoned by adults doing nothing to stop it...

Everyone dealing with children are all to blame for children's bad behaviour. All adults have to accept that it's their responsibility and duty to deal with children's behaviour. Doing nothing and reneging on your responsibilities isn't acceptable. Excuses and no action is no longer tolerable.

You have to learn how to deal with behaviour. It really isn't difficult. You have to make a bit of effort. But, what's else is there - admitting that you can't be bothered to make the effort, that you haven't any substance or strength of character...?

If you have to admit you can't be bothered then you really shouldn't be in charge of children. That's true, for sure...

Article Source: http://www.yesparenting.com/articles

Liz Marsden is a highly experienced behaviour management expert who teaches those considered too challenging and disruptive to be in mainstream school. Liz uses her skills to train teachers, student teachers, teaching assistants and parents to manage children's behaviour confidently and effectively. Visit Liz's website to learn about her down to earth, easy to follow techniques. Follow them and see stress reduce.

Please Rate this Article

Not yet Rated